February Half Term

We’ve driven to my mum and dad’s house again for the bulk of the Half Term week. It makes life easier for me, as I’ve said before, since I can work uninterrupted during the time mum can take care of J for me.

I don’t work Tuesday’s and Wednesday’s, so we drove down on Tuesday afternoon since I was feeling a bit peaky on Monday evening and Tuesday morning. We arrived and unpacked and had dinner with my mum when she got in from work. Soon it was bedtime for us both, (after 100-odd miles of driving I tend to sleep well!).

On Wednesday we went to a local park. We parked in Sainsburys and went in to buy chocolate buttons on the way to the park, and used the travelator to get to the store from the carpark level we were on – he thought it was utterly magical and was transfixed, then in typical J fashion he zoned out as we reached the top so despite me saying “You’ve got to step off at the top, OK? Ready? Steady? Now!” he was on another planet and just pitched forwards at the top when his trainers met the grating!

When we got to the park, the same one that I used to go to with my nan and granddad, and my auntie Z with my younger brother and my cousins, though it’s had quite a facelift since then! I was amazed to find a lovely huge open field area, as well as a skate park, (contained within fences) a full size basketball court (also contained, and including cage-style lockers for the players to put their bags) there is now a smaller gated park for younger children, as well as a larger, more adventure-style playground for older kids. J had a whale of a time in there, giving me heart failure as he leapt fearlessly along stepping-stone style bridges five foot high between two parapets; quite casually leaping onto a firemans pole and effortlessly spinning his way to the bottom of it; shouting “Mummy look!” at the point of jumping / leaping / climbing somewhere that seems awfully high and all the time I’m too far away to stop him / catch him if I wanted to! It was an absolutely lovely day though, spent with my darling boy who is suddenly so grown up.

After a couple of hours of heart failure and standing in the freezing February sunshine getting my perfectly ‘done’ hair all whipped into a frenzy, I eventually called it a day and we headed back over the field to the car. At home we cooked shepherds pie, ate with my mum and J went to bed. Mum and I sat up watching Judge Judy for a while before we headed to bed ourselves.

Today I had to work. The morning was bright, with blue skies and sunshine, but dammit I had to work, so I installed J in front of the TV watching Horrid Henry on the CITV channel, and I started. As is always the way when I’m trying to work and I have J to take care of, he likes to interrupt as often as possible. Today was no different. He ate everything possible, because every time I sat down and tried to get on, he asked for something else to eat, or drink. As soon as I thought he was settled, he’d ask for a different program to watch, swapping from Peter Rabbit on iPlayer to Thomas on YouTube and back to Horrid Henry on CITV more times than I could count, purely so I was devoting my attention to what he wanted me to do, and not to what I wanted to do.

By dinnertime, though I’ve got everything done and I’m caught up, I feel like I should have done more somehow today given my sickness on Monday and not being able to do as much as I’d hoped to then, but even so I’ve got tomorrow and the weekend to work as well. Tomorrow mum is off work, so I can concentrate while she takes J off somewhere, or creates space monsters with Play Doh and spaghetti, or make an early start on easter cards, or something. I’ll be able to get loads done and feel like I’ve actually contributed something this week!

On that note, it’s time for me to go and do some more work, so I’ll love you and leave you and hope that you’re all having a lovely half term.

Thursday peace & love,

Mummy P xxx

Keep Calm & Don't Be Hatin'

I saw a comment from a mummy blogger I follow about working from home and the difficulties with it when the kids are sick. I totally sympathise with this lady, because I know what she means, yet there were a few negative comments from people and I can imagine the same sort of comments being made about me, too.

The trouble is, when people find out you work from home, they think you’ve got it easy. They imagine your day is very relaxed, full of you doing your own thing quite merrily as you feel like it and being free to work around the rest of your life.

The reality is that my day is anything but relaxed. I’m up and getting dressed first thing, sorting out J to take him to school, and when I get back I’ve got enough time to unload / load the dishwasher, tumble drier and washing machine, make the beds and make a cup of tea before I sit down to work. I take a break around one for lunch, and then continue working til three, when I collect J from school. Once he’s home, and he’s changed, we do another load in the tumble drier and the washing machine and do any washing up there may be, then I cook his dinner while the two of us do his homework. While he’s eating dinner I’m working again, and then Daddy P gets home. One or other of us cooks our dinner while the other spends some time with J, and after we’ve eaten its time for one or other of us to put him to bed. If it’s my turn, after I’ve done that I’m back downstairs around 8.30 / 9 to sit down and carry on working until I’m done for the day – normally around midnight.

If J is off school sick, it completely throws my day out, because I’ll be up and down every five minutes instead of being able to concentrate on work because J will want a drink, something to eat, he’ll want his hot water bottle re-doing or a film putting on or any number of other demands that a four year old can come up with in order to keep mummy’s attention when he’s feeling under the weather and her attention is being pulled to something else. Something which should take me 10 minutes takes 30 because I keep getting interrupted.

My weekends are taken over by work. I have two days off during the week which is when I get my shopping, the bulk of the housework, and any social visits done, but this means Saturdays and Sundays I have to take into account work for everything. I’ll take my laptop to my in laws when we go for dinner, so I can work before and after eating – if we go out I’ll be on my phone checking up on things.

I don’t want to sound like I’m moaning, not by any stretch – I wouldn’t be able to cope with working in an office full time, the travelling back and forth during rush hour and having to make arrangements for childcare for before and after school for Jacob. I’d get even less time to spend with him than I do now, which is not what I want. But having said that, the amount of time I get to spend with him now and for the majority of it I’m sitting on a laptop. J went through a stage of trying to close it when he was younger – “no, mummy, no!” – but he is used to it now (which is quite sad in itself, really) and he just asks me if there’s people who need my help.

I’m aware that many are jealous of the fact that when J is on holidays from school I tend to go and stay elsewhere. While this might appear to be a bit of a jolly jaunt, the reality is that I need to spend time elsewhere as it’s the only way I can get work done. If I stay with my parents, then I’ve got the support of my mum to look after J while I work in the loft uninterrupted for the bulk of the day. It’s not a matter of be swanning off to relax myself – it’s a matter of being able to get the work done as best I can. My view might change but my hours don’t. I’m still online from first thing in the morning til last thing at night. When I go to the van, in the warmer months, while I’m alone with J it’s just as helpful because I’m in a smaller space with everything I need, and he can play safely on the grass next to the van and I can work sitting out on the deck to keep an eye on him. Yes this is beautiful and I appreciate not everyone is lucky enough to do this – but not everyone has to do a full time job at the same time as be a full time mum. I have to do what works to accommodate both worlds.

When other people log into the office they’re doing their job – when they log out they go home and they leave work in the office til the next time they’re in. With me, and anyone else that works from home, you’re constantly thinking about it and your home has folders of information and your family know more about your job than if you did a normal office job.

While my job does feature so heavily in so much of my life, I am passionate about it and I enjoy it. I don't mind working all the hours I do because I like the end result. I like what I do, and I know not everyone is able to say the same. I just wish before people comment about how ‘easy’ an option it is, or make so-called jokes about me ‘not really’ working or being a ‘part timer’ could stop and think about the fact that I do the same amount of hours that they do, I just have a different job to do, one which requires me being online, available, for a large proportion of time. Jealousy is not a pretty thing, and I’m not one to waste my time worrying about what other people think, but it’s the thoughtless commenting and needless bitching, and when it’s the same people time and time again it gets tiresome. Oh and those who say I'm lucky - Yes, I am, and I worked hard to get where I am today, so luck is part of it but not all of it, damn hard work also played a part because I worked for what I wanted.

I thought we were grown ups – maybe I was mistaken. Seems like I know far too many childish people who spend far too much time worrying about other people’s business. I’ve stopped making contact with a lot of so called friends to see how many made contact with me, instead. It’s a sure fire way of finding out who your real friends are, and I won’t be wasting my precious time trying to cross oceans for those who wouldn’t offer to jump a puddle for me! 

Life's too short to be hatin'

Sunday Peace N Love,

Mummy P

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