Picklepot had a much better week
last week and I had hoped that we were through the rough patch but then
yesterday his teacher mentioned a few issues to Daddy P when he went to do the
school run. Apparently Picklepot is taking too long to complete his schoolwork so
they are taking away half his break time to finish it off – I have an issue
with this purely for the fact that he needs the time at break to run around and
let off some excess energy, so if he’s not getting the full amount of time to
do that they’re then expecting him to sit down and focus while he’s still too energised
and hasn’t had chance to release some of the energy. I’ve already said to the
school – many times before – that they can send schoolwork home for him to
finish after school, as I feel this would be more beneficial for them as it
wouldn’t cause disruption to the rest of their day as he would have had full
break time and chance to go wild and then come back into the classroom and
refocus.
In addition to this, the class
are due to go to a residential home tomorrow to sing Christmas carols for the
residents, and Picklepot has been told that he might not be allowed to go if he
continues being so slow at getting himself sorted out. Yesterday he was the
last one out of the class by a long time, he came out carrying his coat (the
others had all put their coats on) and when we got home we discovered he didn’t
have any of his books with him that he needed. Again it’s something I’ve spoken
to the school about before, it’s all part and parcel of the ADHD diagnosis that
he finds planning and organising difficult, and that he gets easily distracted.
It isn’t that he’s deliberately taking so long, or that he is so forgetful, but
he needs additional support in place. Historically teachers have allowed him to
have a checklist on or nearby his desk to ensure he doesn’t forget anything,
but the teacher this year seems to think that it’s time he learned to remember
things and I’m not convinced she understands that it isn’t something he can
learn to do. I know adults with ADHD who rely on check lists to make sure they
don’t forget anything! I think she’s expecting too much for a child of 8 with
the additional needs he has. I also don’t see the connection between him taking
too long to get his stuff together and get out of school at the end of the day
and him missing out on going to the residential home – to me, this is not a
logical consequence, so how on earth is he meant to understand that connection?
If he was late out and it meant that he couldn’t go to the park on the way home
because we’d run out of time, or he couldn’t go to an after school club because
it was too late, then that would be logical to say it’s because he took too
long getting out of school, but I think missing the residential home trip is a
tenuous link to say the least.
On Friday, the class had maths
homework set, but Picklepot says he wasn’t aware of this homework being set so
he didn’t bring his maths book home over the weekend. The teacher says the
homework was definitely set and other children in the class are aware of it so
she is blaming Picklepot for not listening / daydreaming. I am blaming the fact
that yet again it was not noted down in his homework diary – as I have asked
them to ensure all homework is, yet they’ve not done it since the start of the
September term despite agreeing with me that it was a good idea – and I am blaming
the fact that the home-school communication book hasn’t been sent home since
the first night it came back, two nights after my meeting with the SENCO and
the headmaster about the difficulties Picklepot was having at school. The idea
was meant to be that as well as letting me know how his school day had been,
they could also note down homework in that, but as we haven’t seen it I’ve no
idea what homework has been set. (Again, this is something the teacher says
that he needs to ‘learn to remember’ and I’m not sure she understands that it
isn’t something he is going to ‘learn’ and that by pushing this point she’s
driving his anxiety through the ceiling which then makes everything worse)
Yesterday morning Daddy P asked the teacher to make sure that the maths book
came home so that Picklepot could do the maths homework – it was left in his
drawer at school again, because he felt rushed out of the classroom at the end
of the day, and was one of the items that he’d forgotten to bring home with
him.
I’ve put everything into a letter
and reminded Picklepot about a hundred times this morning to make sure he gave
the note to the teacher today so she’s at least read through and knows my
thoughts on how we should be working together to support Picklepot, rather than
stressing him out and causing his anxiety to escalate, we need to be managing
our expectations realistically of what we think he is able to do. Whenever I’m
having a conversation with the teacher such as her telling me he isn’t sitting
still nicely or he’s becoming distracted easily and I say to her well that’s
the ADHD, she’s always coming up with yes but he can do it when he wants to.
She’s missing the point completely that he’s not doing it when he wants to, he’s
forcing himself not to move and as a result when he is out of school he’s going
crazy because it’s like a fizzy drink in a bottle that’s been shaken all day at
school and then once he’s out of school the lid is taken off. I asked if he
could have something to fiddle with in class to help him focus and she said no
because it will distract other children; I asked if he uses his ear defenders
to cut out the excess noise in the classroom and she says no because she doesn’t
like any children using ear defenders as it makes them more of a target for
bullying. I’ve been told she’s such a great teacher and I do like her, but I
really don’t think she comprehends SENCO children properly or how she can
support them best in her classroom. We have parents evening booked for Thursday
after school so I’m hoping to be able to have a proper chat with her then and
try to explain my points clearly.
It’s not been a great start to
Year 4 for Picklepot to be fair, and with all the Christmas festivities now
building up his schedule and routine has been changed and he’s getting
overwhelmed with all the pretty things and the lights and everything that’s
going on, so it’s looking like we’re going to have a rough few weeks. I just
hope we make it through Christmas relatively unscathed and we can start 2019
fresh and with some things in place to help support him more.
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