Our quest for ADHD assessment continues

You may have read my previous post about the ridiculousness of getting to this point. Once the GP had sent the referral, I received a letter back which basically asked for me to justify why I felt assessment was necessary, and questioning whether I had really done everything I could to help support my child or was I just a lazy parent looking for excuses. On the letter, it said call us to discuss further. So I called them, and spent 10 minutes on the phone with a lady telling her all about the SENCO reports from school, the diagnosis of autism in December 2015, my attendance of a Solihull Positive Parenting group and subsequent pass of the course in July 2016, the amount of extra people that had observed Picklepot in class and the reports they’d written about him, all of which said that his behaviour pointed to ADHD as a co-morbid condition alongside his autism.

After 10 minutes, the lady on the phone said that all sounded fine, and please could I put it all in writing for them to look through and come to a decision. I asked why I had been instructed by the letter to phone, and she basically said it was to wheedle out those parents who are lazy and looking for excuses, as they rarely make the effort to phone. She provided me with an email address, so that night I sat down and wrote everything down in an email to send to them.

A few days after that, I received a thick envelope in the post. In it were two huge questionnaires for me to complete, and two huge questionnaires for the school to complete. I took the one for school in the next morning for Miss B and sat down that evening myself to go through the parents one. It took ages. There were loads of questions about behaviour, home life, school abilities, even asking about the type of delivery I’d had with Picklepot when he’d been born and whether there had been any issues during pregnancy or delivery. I’m not sure about the relevance of that but they apparently feel it has a bearing on things so I answered every question.

I posted back the forms a couple of days later, as despite their slowness to act upon any information it was made quite clear with the included letter that if you failed to get the forms back within 2 weeks of them being sent out then it would be presumed you no longer needed assistance and the whole process would need to be started again with GP referral. I’ve still not heard back from them, but it’s only been 2 weeks since I posted the forms back (1^st class Royal Mail, sent direct from the post office to ensure no reason for it to claim to be lost in the post or delayed). I hope I hear from them soon though as things have got no better for Picklepot. He’s still highly emotional, bursting into tears or becoming very angry within a split second and raging with temper, throwing things, screaming, slamming doors, growling and being altogether a very unpredictable ball of emotion. One thing I discussed with Mrs D, the SENCO at school, was that potentially we could be heading for early onset of puberty, given that he is going to be 7 in August and is already wearing age 9-10 clothes he is very tall and she said its perfectly possible this may happen and the onset of hormones could be a reason for him being so emotional. Again though, it’s something the medical ‘experts’ need to be involved in with helping us out here, and helping Picklepot find a solution.

I’m hoping that the additional visual aids I’ve got him (the wristband and the communication flash cards) will help as it means he doesn’t have to verbalise when he’s becoming overwhelmed, but at the same time it would be helpful to be able to stop him becoming so overwhelmed so often. I feel I am constantly on his case asking him to correct behaviour, always telling him to stop that, come here, do as he is asked, don’t throw things, don’t scream in my face, don’t hit, and its tiring for everyone involved as well as repetitive.

It was a relief to go to our ASD Helping Hands group yesterday and be able to chat to some of the other mums there who are facing similar situations with their kids, and know that I could be honest and say how I felt and they understand, they don’t judge. Likewise, I don’t constantly have to be trying to keep Picklepot from behaving in ways other people see as unusual or disruptive because all of us are there for our kids who are on the spectrum so our normal is normal to them, too, and nobody looks at him differently or thinks he is being odd or tells him he is weird, so he can just get on and be himself and it’s all good. I’m so thankful for our little group, and for the friends I’ve made there.

Today we’re having a quiet day at home. Daddy P is at work, so the boys and I are chilling in our PJs. I’ve done loads of work, I’ve been running the washing machine, tumble drier and dishwasher since first thing this morning and I’ve been drinking lots of yummy coffee and doing some online shopping. In a little while I’ll go and start cooking our chicken for dinner but for now my Sunshineface has just woken from his nap so it’s time to go upstairs and sort him out and then we can do some tidying upstairs.

The Easter Holidays - Broadland Sands

For the first week of the Easter holidays, I took some time off work and the boys and I went to Broadland Sands holiday park.

We’re return visitors there – we’re lucky enough that my parents own a caravan on the site, so we can use it whenever they’re not. They purchased their first caravan when I was pregnant with Picklepot, so we’ve been going there for almost 7 years.

Over time, the site has changed hands several times, the company who own it now are obviously a much bigger corporation than previous owners, and they’re bringing it all in line with their other sites, with the entertainment centre having had a huge renovation last year, mascots providing children’s entertainment in the clubhouse in the evenings and mascot merchandise available for sale in the site shop. They’ve rearranged a lot of the caravans, and are building additional areas for caravans and lodges to be placed.

On our most recent visit, I was surprised to see the outdoor pool open, as previously it was only open during the main 6 week summer holidays, and it was still rather chilly at the start of April to contemplate an outdoor swim, but plenty of people were enjoying it. The pool passes can be obtained from reception, and must be valid if you want to use the pool. There’s a larger one, complete with big waterslide, and a smaller one for the kids (warmer and more shallow) Attached to the pool area is changing rooms complete with toilet and shower facilities, so if you want you can get ready / get dressed after your swim there, but most people walk over to the pool and back to their caravan or lodge in their swimsuit and a towel along with flip flops! You’re on holiday after all!

There’s a childrens park area on site, which we always spend a lot of time visiting, now Sunshineface is mobile he was able to enjoy running around there and playing too, unfortunately a lot of older children are left unattended by the adults they’re on holiday with so there is a bit of an issue with the older ones trying to take over all the equipment and scare off the little ones, but if you’re there with your kids all the time like I am then you don’t tend to have an issue.

The site could do with having a good clean up. I’ve not noticed it so much in previous years but there was a lot of rubbish in the carpark area next to the tennis courts, battered old caravans and broken bits and bobs, and around the site was a lot of old decking piled up, rubbish left abandoned and things just seemed generally uncared for. There are a lot of signs stating that dogs must be kept on a lead – apparently a lot of people can’t read, as we saw many dogs not on leads, running wild and causing a nuisance, as well as messing and their owners not cleaning up after them. There are areas where the grass has been re-laid and not watered, leading to big brown patchwork sections of dead grass. Broken signage makes the site look uncared for and signs telling you what number caravans are where work best when they’re showing the correct numbers in the correct place. The site maps given out to holidaymakers are also incorrect, showing the wrong number caravans in the wrong places.

The boys and I spent a day at the local beach, which is Gorleston. It takes about 10 minutes to drive there from Broadland Sands. It’s a lovely sandy beach, there’s a good size carpark with slopes and steps leading down from there to the waterside, and a very nice café which is open most of the year. (In summer they get very busy) We got an ice cream from the ice cream van parked by the car park, we made sandcastles, we had a lovely day on the beach even if it was a bit chilly. If you’re in the area I highly recommend this beach.

Add caption

On our last night on the site, Picklepot wanted to go to the site restaurant for dinner. The kids meals were good - £4.50 for main meal, drink, and ice cream for afters. The meals were a generous portion – Picklepot had a cheeseburger and Sunshineface had chicken nuggets – and both boys meals came with a pile of chips. My meal wasn’t great. It cost £8.50 for spicy chicken burger and chips, I asked for it without coleslaw which I hate, and when it arrived there wasn’t even a bit of salad included. It was very basic fried chips and burger in a bun and looked like something I could have cooked myself in the caravan, not a meal I’d paid for, which was disappointing.

As we were finishing our meal the kids evening entertainment started so Picklepot was dancing and joining in with that, though Sunshineface found it all a bit much and wanted to stay away from the main stage where the characters were and the kids had all gathered to dance and scream. We didn’t stay long as it was very loud and lots of screaming, Picklepot found it a bit much after a short time too, so we headed back to the caravan. It was what I think of as typical holiday camp kids entertainment, though the meal was disappointing the venue has been done up very nicely and organised well.

I will continue to return to Broadland Sands but I don’t know that I’d get another meal in the restaurant unless they vastly improve the quality of the food, and I’d like to see the site cleaned up particularly once the summer season arrives. 

Top Line - Sunshineface at Gorleston Beach / on the caravan deck
Middle - Picklepot & I on the caravan deck / Me at Gorleston Beach / With Sunshineface at the clubhouse
Bottom - Picklepot at the site playground / On the clifftops / at Gorleston Beach
Background photo - Gorleston Beach

Here We Go Again ... The Hunt For Diagnosis

We went for the doctor’s appointment on Wednesday morning last week to get the ball rolling with the ADHD diagnosis for Picklepot.

Our appointment was at 9.20am so we walked to the doctors after morning registration at school (So Picklepot’s attendance record wouldn’t be affected by missing morning register) and we arrived at the surgery at 9.10am. I had both boys with me. Sunshineface had a bad night so I was exhausted and he hadn’t woken up til late, so he’d woken up and had a nappy change, got dressed and got straight in the pushchair.

The doctors surgery seemed quiet, and when I booked in on the computer screen it showed a 12 minute waiting time. Considering we were 10 minutes early for our appointment, I thought that was fair enough. However the minutes ticked by and it became apparent that the 12 minute waiting time was a gross underestimation.

By 9.45am Picklepot was spinning, flapping and squealing in the waiting room, bored of waiting. There are a few childrens books on a small table in the corner of the room, and the ones aimed at really young kids he’d read to Sunshineface, and the ones for older children had pages ripped out and drawn on which made him upset because someone had done this awful damage to a book so he didn’t want to look at them. He span and flapped and squealed some more. I asked him to come and do it near me and not on the other side of the waiting room just so he wasn’t in danger of accidentally tripping and falling on someone else, or hitting them with a flailing hand or foot. I didn’t try to stop the stimming. I knew it was important for him to release the energy he had inside him.

I’d already warned him that I would need to talk to the doctor about him. He said that was OK, because it was to get the doctor to do a referral to a specialist who could help us better understand why he finds it so difficult to sit and concentrate like the other kids do at school. We were called in to see the doctor just after 10am. By this point Picklepot was bouncing off the walls.

The doctor we saw is what I call an ‘old school’ doctor. He has a big ancient wooden desk in the middle of his office, and a huge wooden bookshelf to one side with copies of Grey’s Anatomy and similar; he has models of skeletal systems, a skull with labelled areas, coasters that look like scrabble letters with his initials. He also had a Care Bears beanbag which Picklepot made a bee line for (after dancing around the room nosing at everything and asking questions about it all).

I didn’t try to stop it. When you’re there to get your kid referred for an assessment like ADHD the best thing to do is let them bounce and twirl and talk at ninety miles an hour and fiddle with everything because it shows the doctor some of what you’re experiencing and why you’re asking for the referral. So I left Picklepot to it and spoke with the doctor, who was very much in agreement with me about the need for assessment as he agrees its pretty obvious Picklepot does have ADHD as well. We discussed the mess up with the CDC and all of that – and both of us said at the same time “It’s like they deliberately make it difficult in the hope you’ll give it up”. He wrote the referral as I sat there. He took the notes I’d made and read though the letter that Mrs D had given me. (He also made sure he found the copy of it on the system before allowing me to walk off with that copy again)

We were in there for maybe 10 minutes, but I felt it was a good appointment. He’s definitely on the same page as me. As I was preparing to leave, he said that parenting could be challenging at the best of times and parenting a child as full on as Picklepot is an even bigger challenge but what we must all remember is that the person facing the biggest challenges here is Picklepot himself, so it’s important we do all we can to get the right assessments and diagnosis so that he can benefit from the support available. He said if I don’t hear anything in 4 weeks about an appointment for assessment he wants me to contact him again.

Here we go again, we’re going on a diagnosis hunt, we’re off to find the next one, what a beautiful day, we’re not scared … 

Why My Son is being Failed by the System

It was a long, hard road to get Picklepot diagnosed with ASD in the first place. I saw countless doctors who dismissed my concerns for ages, telling me I was over-analysing things, telling me I was a neurotic first time mother, telling me he couldn’t possibly be autistic because he made eye contact and because he wasn’t delayed in speech or language.

Without the support from his teacher, Miss B, and the school SENCO, Mrs D, I don’t know if I’d have had the strength to battle on. But they were in my corner, they knew I was right, and they gave me strength.

One doctors appointment the doctor had the nerve to observe him for all of 30 seconds and then say to me, “He seems normal to me. Why are you so concerned?” And, bristling from the comment of ‘seems normal’ – as if an autistic child is ‘abnormal’ by default – I slammed onto her desk my folder. I have been keeping a diary since Picklepot was in Reception. It is three and a half inches thick, with pages and pages of my notes, observations, print outs of information I have found that link autism signs with behaviour he has displayed. “This” I told her. “Read this. This is why I think he is on the spectrum.” She frowned at me. “I haven’t got time to go through all that. But really, he seems fine to me …” I glared at her. Mama Bear came out to play. “So on the basis of a thirty second appointment he seems fine to you so I’m meant to go away now am I? No. I’ve done this too many times. Let me put it this way. If you do not write a referral for an autism assessment, I will be back here, every day, with my folder, bugging you for the referral until it happens.” She thought for a moment. Then she said, “I’ll write a referral for him though, based on your concerns.”

We had various appointments after that with a specialist paediatrician at the local CDC (Children’s Development Centre) It was no surprise when he said in December 2014 that Picklepot was on the spectrum. In fact, it was a relief to hear him say it, after all we had been through, to finally know that I had been right all along.

I asked the doctor at that point, “What about the ADHD?” It was a secondary concern. Aware that the two conditions are known as co-morbid, and children on the autistic spectrum are far more likely to have ADHD, and with Picklepot displaying so many signs of it, I wanted a diagnosis for it all in one hit. The paediatrician refused to diagnose ADHD. “I don’t diagnose it in children of his age. They’re all displaying signs of it at this age. Come back in a year, and we’ll assess again.” I said that even his teacher and his SENCO had raised concerns of ADHD, and they were both well versed in dealing with children of his age (five years old, at the time) Still he refused, and insisted again on an appointment in a year to assess.

Fast forward a year. December 2016, and I’m anticipating a letter from the CDC with an appointment for Picklepot regarding his assessment for ADHD. I don’t receive anything, so I contact the CDC myself to ask about it. I’m informed that the paediatrician Picklepot was seeing has now retired. I say OK, so I need an appointment with his replacement. He said we would have an appointment in December 2016. Oh, says the receptionist. Looks like he signed off Picklepot as no longer requiring our care back in Easter. I am by this point very cross. He said we would have another appointment in December 2016 to assess for ADHD. I was not informed that Picklepot had been signed off from the CDC. Why was I not made aware? Oh, says the receptionist. We normally send a letter.

We normally send a letter. Well that’s really nice and all for those who receive a letter, but I didn’t. I’ve lived in the same house for almost 10 years and I did not receive a single notification from the CDC telling me that Picklepot was being signed off as I would have called them then and kicked up hell. So now I’m doing it on the phone, when I was promised a follow up appointment and I haven’t got one, when I was promised a further assessment and now I’m being told he has been signed off. No. Hell, no. You are not getting away with this. Mama Bear is out to play – again.

“Well how do I arrange an appointment for the assessment then?” I ask her. She informs me that he now needs to be re-referred into the CDC system. They will hold a meeting and decide whether the concerns raised warrant him attending an appointment to see if he needs an assessment for ADHD. I grit my teeth and ask, “How do I get him referred?” Oh, she says, either your GP or your school SENCO can do that. I ask her to confirm, as they would never accept a referral direct from SENCO for the ASD assessment. She confirms, Oh yes, the school SENCO can do it, that’s absolutely fine. So I hang up, and I go and speak with Mrs D, the school SENCO.

Lovely as ever, Mrs D says that’s fine, that’s not a problem, of course I will write a referral for an assessment, lets get this ball rolling and hurry up with this diagnosis. She knows as well as I do that in the last year, the signs of ADHD have increased in Picklepot, and he is now an anxious ball of emotions bursting at the seams and I am desperate for some help in soothing him. Mrs D then makes a call to the CDC to triple check she can definitely do the referral. Oh yes, she’s told, that’s fine. Who do I address it to, she asks. They give her a name.

Mrs D writes up a referral, and she sends a copy to the CDC, to the name they have provided her with as the person best placed to deal with ADHD referral assessment appointments, and she sends a copy to me, and a copy to our GP, and keeps a copy on file herself. We wait. Christmas looms closer and Picklepot becomes even more anxious, even more emotional, bursting into tears without notice, becoming violently angry with no apparent reason (to us), screaming and shouting and kicking and throwing things and then sobbing in my arms afterwards because he says he doesn’t want to be a naughty boy, he wants to be a good boy but he gets upset and his brain doesn’t work properly. My poor beloved boy, so desperate to fit in, to be like his peers, to not have these outbursts, crying because it all gets too much for him and he doesn’t have any other way of letting it out.

Mrs D receives a letter back from the person at the CDC she was told to write to. I am not the person you need to discuss this with; The CDC do not do assessment for ADHD; The patients GP needs to refer the patient to the correct department.

Why was I told by the previous paediatrician that the CDC did assess for ADHD?

Why was I not told by the previous paediatrician that he was signing off my boy before that assessment happened?

Why was I then told it was OK for SENCO to refer for assessment for ADHD?

Why was SENCO then given the name of the person to contact at the CDC for assessment for ADHD?

So many unanswered questions. I’ll probably never know.

At the moment, we’re waiting for an appointment with our GP, which is not until February (the soonest available appointment) Despite the fact it’s an appointment for the GP to refer Picklepot for assessment, not the actual assessment itself, I have to take Picklepot with me, my notes and my word aren’t apparently good enough to believe. Regardless of the fact this is a GP and not an expert paediatrician who fully comprehends and understands ADHD / ASD, I have to subject my child to being regarded by this stranger before we can get an assessment. I have to break his usual routine of school to take him to the appointment, so he will be upset about that. I have to sit in the doctors office and talk about him in front of him as if he isn’t in the room, something he absolutely hates, so he will be upset about that. I have to tell the GP why I think my eldest boy needs assessment for ADHD, so he will overhear me and think it is something he has done wrong or that he should change about himself, so he will be upset about that. And after all of that upset, I might get the referral for the assessment that we need.

The system is seriously flawed. After all of that upset, on top of how emotionally charged, raw and anxious Picklepot has been recently, he is going to be through the roof with his emotions. And it isn’t the CDC who will help calm him down when he’s sobbing his heart out and gasping for breath. And it isn’t the GP who will help soothe his fears when he’s awake in the middle of the night screaming in fear because he knows he is different and he says his brain doesn’t work properly and he doesn’t understand why. And it won’t be the receptionists I’ve spoken to who deal with the temper and having things thrown at them and having him lash out at them because he has all this emotion inside and he doesn’t know what to do with it.

Oh no, it’s not those who exacerbate the issue who have to deal with it. That would be me, his dad, his grandparents, his teachers at school. This system is flawed, and it’s failing my son.

Zeta Vooom

  

As Baby A gets older, I needed to make sure that I am happy with the pushchair I have for him to take out with us. Up til now I have used the Quinny Zapp chassis with his Pebble carseat on it as it’s easy and convenient and ideal for short trips to the shops, but for a day out it isn’t suitable to leave him in his carseat for too long, and the Zapp isn’t great off road. My normal pushchair, the Maxi-Cosi Mura Plus, is great for all terrain and has a lovely big comfortable seat, but it is a chunky beast and getting it into the boot of my car is awkward, as I have to remove the rear wheels from the chassis and lie the seat unit over it in a certain way to make it all fit. It doesn’t leave any space for bags which means I can’t do any shopping, and if we’re going out for the day it means I have nowhere to put the picnic bag, the change of clothes you inevitably need when you have two young boys, so I wanted to find something suitable for us to use.

I did my research, as always, and found that a highly recommended lightweight buggy was the Zeta Vooom. I liked what I saw, and I found it for an excellent price from Baby Travel, which included the Footmuff. I made my order for the Vooom in the Ocean colour, and waited for my delivery.

When it arrived it was in a tall, slim box and I wondered how it had fitted, but as an umberella fold pushchair it doesn’t need much space. The only thing I had to do was add the front wheels and it was ready to go.

The sun canopy is vast. It covers very well, with an extra piece at the front that can either offer additional protection or which can be held back with a toggle if it isn’t needed; it’s a wonderful size and offers brilliant coverage regardless of the recline position the seat is in. The seat offers four recline positions, each easily achieved by the simple buttons either side of the seat back.  The most reclined position is almost a lie flat, making it perfect for naptime.

There’s a small viewing window in the hood, so you can peep in and see if baby has fallen asleep and recline them if necessary while you’re out and about.

 There is a very good size shopping basket as well as a pocket on the back of the sun canopy drop which is perfect for your purse, mobile phone and keys and feels much safer to me than putting them in the shopping basket.

The front wheels are swivel wheels, making the turning circle very small, but if you want to lock them in position you can do (great for off road) by clicking the switch on the top of each wheel unit. The handlebars are foam covered and very comfortable to grip – you can push the Vooom with one hand no problem and you don’t feel like you’re fighting against it. As Baby A is still only a year old, he has the seat up at the front because his legs aren’t long enough to dangle comfortably, but you have the option of having it set up or down, depending on the side of the child.

The seat itself is a nice quality, with padded harness covers and plenty of adjustment in the harness to make is suitable from new-born up to 15kg (around 4 yrs old) The fold is nice and simple and the pushchair collapses down to a long, slim size ideal for stowing in the car boot. There’s a transport clip to hold it all together once folded, and a carry handle on the side of the chassis making lifting and carrying it when folded much easier. I am so impressed with the nice touches on this pushchair, the thought that has gone into it, for such a low price. The Footmuff is also lovely – it comes with a headhugger, which you’d use if you were using the pushchair from birth, and the headhugger and inside of the Footmuff is a lovely soft fleece fabric, making it feel very cosy and comfortable. The front of the Footmuff can be completely unzipped, so you can also use the back of it as a seat liner if you prefer. I think I’m going to take advantage of that when we start using the pushchair more often for days out, as it’s easier to remove a liner and wash it than it is to try and clean the pushchair seat fabric itself.

This pushchair is almost perfect – very nearly almost perfect. It has a couple of downfalls, which may just be me being fussy, but there you go.

-    - The seat unit doesn’t go parent facing. Now Baby A is a year old this isn’t such a massive thing, but personally I do prefer the option, and I’d never use anything for a new-born that wasn’t parent facing.

-      -  The brakes are a bit iffy. They’re very basic press on / lift to release and you have to press on with quite a bit of force to get them to engage properly. The first couple of times I thought I’d put them on they hadn’t quite clicked in properly so they weren’t holding the back wheels still.

-    -  The raincover is a bit pathetic. It goes over the handles and over the sun canopy beautifully and I had high hopes for it, but then the front of it doesn’t fit around the pushchair seat very well and there are Velcro strips to do up around the chassis near the front wheels to hold it in place which I can see being a faff to put on in a downpour and which won’t stop a kicking toddler from getting the raincover off. Since the size of it isn’t great, it leaves a gap between the seat and the raincover down both sides, so in particularly wet weather it isn’t going to keep your baby completely dry.

-      -  The wheels are plastic and they look a bit cheap. I don’t know how long they’ll last. They don’t make that awful rattly sound that some pushchair wheels make, but I don’t know that they’ll do many miles before they need replacing. We’ll have to see.

On the whole I am very impressed with this pushchair, and very pleased with my bargain purchase. For what I paid the pushchair is excellent, and it meets my needs for it. Once we’ve done a few more trips out with it we’ll see how well it fares but at the moment I am very satisfied with my Zeta Vooom and would encourage parents looking for a compact stroller to check it out. Delivery from Baby Travel was prompt, though the courier reference number they gave me didn’t work when I spoke with the courier they were able to track the parcel and tell me when it would be delivered, so that was all good.

I’d give this lovely little pushchair a four out of five.

Zeta Vooom

  

As Baby A gets older, I needed to make sure that I am happy with the pushchair I have for him to take out with us. Up til now I have used the Quinny Zapp chassis with his Pebble carseat on it as it’s easy and convenient and ideal for short trips to the shops, but for a day out it isn’t suitable to leave him in his carseat for too long, and the Zapp isn’t great off road. My normal pushchair, the Maxi-Cosi Mura Plus, is great for all terrain and has a lovely big comfortable seat, but it is a chunky beast and getting it into the boot of my car is awkward, as I have to remove the rear wheels from the chassis and lie the seat unit over it in a certain way to make it all fit. It doesn’t leave any space for bags which means I can’t do any shopping, and if we’re going out for the day it means I have nowhere to put the picnic bag, the change of clothes you inevitably need when you have two young boys, so I wanted to find something suitable for us to use.

I did my research, as always, and found that a highly recommended lightweight buggy was the Zeta Vooom. I liked what I saw, and I found it for an excellent price from Baby Travel, which included the Footmuff. I made my order for the Vooom in the Ocean colour, and waited for my delivery.

When it arrived it was in a tall, slim box and I wondered how it had fitted, but as an umberella fold pushchair it doesn’t need much space. The only thing I had to do was add the front wheels and it was ready to go.

The sun canopy is vast. It covers very well, with an extra piece at the front that can either offer additional protection or which can be held back with a toggle if it isn’t needed; it’s a wonderful size and offers brilliant coverage regardless of the recline position the seat is in. The seat offers four recline positions, each easily achieved by the simple buttons either side of the seat back.  The most reclined position is almost a lie flat, making it perfect for naptime.

There’s a small viewing window in the hood, so you can peep in and see if baby has fallen asleep and recline them if necessary while you’re out and about.

 There is a very good size shopping basket as well as a pocket on the back of the sun canopy drop which is perfect for your purse, mobile phone and keys and feels much safer to me than putting them in the shopping basket.

The front wheels are swivel wheels, making the turning circle very small, but if you want to lock them in position you can do (great for off road) by clicking the switch on the top of each wheel unit. The handlebars are foam covered and very comfortable to grip – you can push the Vooom with one hand no problem and you don’t feel like you’re fighting against it. As Baby A is still only a year old, he has the seat up at the front because his legs aren’t long enough to dangle comfortably, but you have the option of having it set up or down, depending on the side of the child.

The seat itself is a nice quality, with padded harness covers and plenty of adjustment in the harness to make is suitable from new-born up to 15kg (around 4 yrs old) The fold is nice and simple and the pushchair collapses down to a long, slim size ideal for stowing in the car boot. There’s a transport clip to hold it all together once folded, and a carry handle on the side of the chassis making lifting and carrying it when folded much easier. I am so impressed with the nice touches on this pushchair, the thought that has gone into it, for such a low price. The Footmuff is also lovely – it comes with a headhugger, which you’d use if you were using the pushchair from birth, and the headhugger and inside of the Footmuff is a lovely soft fleece fabric, making it feel very cosy and comfortable. The front of the Footmuff can be completely unzipped, so you can also use the back of it as a seat liner if you prefer. I think I’m going to take advantage of that when we start using the pushchair more often for days out, as it’s easier to remove a liner and wash it than it is to try and clean the pushchair seat fabric itself.

This pushchair is almost perfect – very nearly almost perfect. It has a couple of downfalls, which may just be me being fussy, but there you go.

-    - The seat unit doesn’t go parent facing. Now Baby A is a year old this isn’t such a massive thing, but personally I do prefer the option, and I’d never use anything for a new-born that wasn’t parent facing.

-      -  The brakes are a bit iffy. They’re very basic press on / lift to release and you have to press on with quite a bit of force to get them to engage properly. The first couple of times I thought I’d put them on they hadn’t quite clicked in properly so they weren’t holding the back wheels still.

-    -  The raincover is a bit pathetic. It goes over the handles and over the sun canopy beautifully and I had high hopes for it, but then the front of it doesn’t fit around the pushchair seat very well and there are Velcro strips to do up around the chassis near the front wheels to hold it in place which I can see being a faff to put on in a downpour and which won’t stop a kicking toddler from getting the raincover off. Since the size of it isn’t great, it leaves a gap between the seat and the raincover down both sides, so in particularly wet weather it isn’t going to keep your baby completely dry.

-      -  The wheels are plastic and they look a bit cheap. I don’t know how long they’ll last. They don’t make that awful rattly sound that some pushchair wheels make, but I don’t know that they’ll do many miles before they need replacing. We’ll have to see.

On the whole I am very impressed with this pushchair, and very pleased with my bargain purchase. For what I paid the pushchair is excellent, and it meets my needs for it. Once we’ve done a few more trips out with it we’ll see how well it fares but at the moment I am very satisfied with my Zeta Vooom and would encourage parents looking for a compact stroller to check it out. Delivery from Baby Travel was prompt, though the courier reference number they gave me didn’t work when I spoke with the courier they were able to track the parcel and tell me when it would be delivered, so that was all good.

I’d give this lovely little pushchair a four out of five.

Dan TDM On Tour

J has been a massive fan of YouTuber DanTDM for a long time. He got into watching the videos at first because Dan did a lot of Minecraft based videos, and I was happy for him to watch them as Dan keeps it ‘clean’ with his language and there are always warnings ahead of the video playing if it’s going to be something which will be inappropriate for younger viewers, such as ‘horror maps’ which I don’t let J watch as he tends to have nightmares afterwards.

You may know that one of the characteristics of Asperger Syndrome is ‘obsessive’ behaviour, which I think is a bit of a negative way of saying it, I prefer to say J has ‘passions’ rather than ‘obsessions’. When he is interested in something he likes to know everything to know about it, he immerses himself in it and he absorbs a wealth of information on the subject. DanTDM is one of his passions, I would go so far as saying that he is a hero of J’s. Nine times out of ten if J is watching a YouTube video, it will be a DanTDM video, and he refers to himself as “Team TDM” and his favourite colour is diamond blue.

Some months ago, I saw DanTDM post on his Facebook page about doing a tour of the UK with a specially written show. I thought it would be a wonderful thing to take J along to, so I was thrilled to discover that the show was coming to the Ipswich Regent theatre on August 13^th, exactly a week after J’s sixth birthday. What an ideal birthday gift! To top it off, there would be a limited number of special “Diamond” tickets available – you could upgrade your standard ticket to a VIP one, and have the added experience of a meet & greet with DanTDM himself, a photo taken with him, and a special goodie bag of ‘exclusive DanTDM goodies’. It was expensive, but with the help of my parents and Daddy P’s parents we got ourselves three tickets for the show, and upgraded J’s to a Diamond VIP ticket.

We decided not to tell J that we were going to the show until his birthday. This was to prevent him becoming too worked up about it by knowing about it too far in advance, so we kept it a secret and after his party last Sunday once everyone else had left and it was just our family left, I told J about his main present, explaining that it wasn’t something we could wrap, so I’d made a poster to show him with the information on it. He didn’t seem very excited at the time, but he didn’t really take in what it meant at the time. Later that evening he asked me what a theatre show was, so I explained we would go and see DanTDM on stage doing a performance – he thought it would be like going to the cinema and watching a normal YouTube video on a big screen, so the thought of seeing the actual DanTDM in real life started getting J excited about the idea.

As the week progressed he was asking us things about the show, details like what the performance would be about (which we had to explain we didn’t know, as we hadn’t seen it and it was being kept secret until you went to see the show) He refused to watch the teaser trailer that DanTDM posted on his YouTube page as he said he didn’t want to ruin the surprise. I tried to prepare him for it as best I could, explaining it would be a long, busy day, that there would be lots of other boys and girls there and it would be crowded, noisy, that it would be dark in the theatre with bright lights on the stage that would probably flash around the crowd at times. It’s difficult to prepare any child for a new experience like that, but even more so when your child is on the autistic spectrum and is very sensitive to noise and lights.

On Thursday evening, we told him that we had upgraded his ticket to a Diamond VIP ticket, and explained what that meant. As the reality dawned on him that he was actually going to get a chance to MEET his hero, and have a photo taken with him, he became even more excited.

On Saturday morning, due to the VIP experience, we had to set out early to make it to Ipswich on time. J was up at 7.30 and making a picture to give to DanTDM when he met him. It took a little while of persuading him to get washed and dressed, because we kept saying that the show wouldn’t wait and if we weren’t there on time for the meet & greet he wouldn’t get the chance. We were ready and finally left at 9am.

We arrived at the car park next to the Ipswich Regent theatre just before 10am, and from there we walked to the Corn Exchange for the meet & greet. A long line of people was already waiting outside, so we joined the line and waited. At this point we had our first hiccup of the day, because waiting in a line is boring as we all know, and J hadn’t brought his stress ball to concentrate his energy on when he became restless, so he began getting quite upset and agitated. He didn’t want to hold our hands, or stand with us, he kept dancing about and getting quite stressed. Other people in the queue started staring, and while I am now beyond the point of caring about this, J is now at an age where is very aware of how others are reacting to him, so once he noticed the staring he became more upset. In the end Daddy P took him off for a walk while I waited in line, to calm him down. Once the line started moving again as people started being let in, Daddy P and J returned to me and we played “I Spy” as we shuffled towards the door.

We only upgraded J’s ticket to the Diamond VIP version, and as a child under 14 he had to have one adult with him, so at the door Daddy P had to say goodbye to us and just J and I made our way into the Corn Exchange.

It was well organised at this point. Our tickets were checked at the door, then we gave our names to a lady with a clipboard who checked us off and we got a raffle ticket, the number of which was our turn to go and have the meet & greet with DanTDM and have the photo taken. After this we went up the stairs to the merchandise table, and J chose a lanyard with the TDMTour image on one side, and a space for Dan to autograph on the other side. We went into the hall, and J chose seats to one side of the hall, where he could clearly see the big screen TV that was set up showing DanTDM YouTube videos.

There was a bit of a wait while everyone else came into the hall, and once everyone was in and seated they greeted us all and explained what was going to happen. Then DanTDM himself came out onto stage with his familiar “Hi, everyone” shout, which is how he starts all his YouTube videos, and the crowd went wild. J was sitting next to me in stunned silence, his eyes huge, and glued onto the figure on the stage. I must admit it was surreal even to me that this familiar person, whose voice I hear daily, was suddenly standing in the same room, so goodness knows how crazy that must have seemed to J.

Then Dan took his seat on the stage, within the prop used for the photos, and one of the staff announced that everyone with a raffle ticket number between 1 and 20 was to go and line up beside the stage. Our ticket number was 72 so I knew we would have a wait before it was our turn, so I concentrated on trying to ensure that J didn’t get bored while we waited. We went to the loo (I know that seems a bit weird, but I needed it by that point and it meant we spent about five minutes walking around getting to the loo, doing what we needed, and walking back from the loo again) By the time we were back in the hall, numbers 1-20 were about halfway through, so then we sat looking around the hall and I was pointing out some of the features like the circle seats at the back, the old light fittings in the big dome on the ceiling, we looked at the other people there and we admired various different DanTDM / Minecraft / various gaming t shirts, and hoodies, we spotted all the people with blue hair, those who had modelled their entire look from hairstyle to skinny jeans on DanTDM, we spotted people carrying pug soft toys (Dan’s favourite dogs), those with the official tour baseball caps on sale, those with lanyards the same as J’s, and J of course watched the video screen.

Numbers 21-40 went up to wait in line and J asked again what number we were, so then we worked out how long we had before it would be our turn to go and line up. At this point he started getting a bit anxious because where we were sitting was right by where the line was for going onto the stage, and with the full 20 people in the line, plus their parents, for their photos, they ended up blocking the view from our seats to the TV screen, so J didn’t have that to concentrate on, and he started noticing how many people there were around him, how noisy it was in the hall, and after rooting through my handbag for something to distract him the only thing I could find was a tin of mints, so he had a mint and then decided he wanted to lie on the floor under the chairs to feel safe.

People don't often see this side of J and I debated for a long time whether or not to share this photo. But this is his life. This is what he did in a packed room full of people to feel more secure and calm about the situation.

To give them their credit, I didn’t notice anyone in the hall bat an eyelid about this behaviour. If they did, they were discreet about it. While it is totally normal for me to see him doing things like this, and I could understand why he would find the cool, smooth wooden floor calming, in situations like that you normally find at least one person who gives him a funny look or stares at us like they can’t believe I am allowing him to do whatever it is he is doing, but this group of people didn’t make a fuss at all. Even the usher from the theatre who was in charge of the line of people waiting for their photo to be taken just glanced over at him and smiled at me.

By the time our group was called, J was more than ready for things to happen. If we’d not been in that group I don’t know how I’d have kept him entertained any longer. I may have messaged Daddy P and asked him to get us some lunch and meet him at the door to collect it, but as it was we just about managed to last and when numbers 61-80 were called J shot out from under the row of seats and galloped to the lady checking the numbered tickets and into the queue. We were behind another young lad and his mum who had a picture for Dan, and in front of them was a lad with his mum who had a knitted DanTDM toy that his grandma had made the night before, which impressed J no end as Grandma P does a lot of knitting so he had the idea of asking her to make him a DanTDM next time he sees her. They were both very nice and we chatted while we waited, and behind us was another family with two boys, plus mum and dad, and one of the boys was antsy about queuing as well so his mum took him to sit in front of the TV screen beside the queue, and J ended up sitting on the floor with them while I stood in line til it was almost our turn. The guy at the bottom of the stage steps was lovely and chatted to J and myself while we waited, and then when we were called up the stairs to stand at the side of the stage ready to go and have J’s photo taken he was vibrating with excitement and the guy realised that and was talking to him as well.

At last, it was J’s turn. He skipped across the stage to Dan full of confidence, and when Dan said hello he was laughing and said hello, and the pair of them sat and had a chat – J told Dan all about the picture he’d drawn so they had a chat about that and Dan complimented him on what a good picture it was, and thanked him for making the effort, then he signed the lanyard, and they had their photo taken and finally J got a high five from Dan and we left the stage. The whole thing had taken only a couple of minutes but J was so excited and so happy. Immediately after we got off the stage, we went to the lady in charge of the printer, and J’s photo rolled out of the printer as we stood there and was put in a special DanTDM Tour card. We went to the table where the goodie bags were set up and J gave his name, received his goodie bag and then it was time for us to head back outside and meet up with Daddy P.

One very happy little boy finally meeting his idol!

To be honest, I had hoped for the price we paid, the goodie bags would contain more goodies. Inside was a special edition DanTDM Tour t shirt (we’d emailed weeks in advance for what size would be required), a small packet of jelly beans and a bag of flavoured popcorn. The bag itself is a sport-bag style with the DanTDM logo on it so that can be used again, but after all the hype about the “special goodies” and the promise of “a limited edition t shirt and much more included” I had been hoping for a bit more. Luckily J wasn’t disappointed and was still skipping about because he’d actually met and spoken with DanTDM.

We were out of the Corn Exchange around midday, which meant we had an hour and a half until the show started down the road at the Regent Theatre. We walked back to the car and popped into McDonalds on the way to pick up some lunch, which we took back to the car to eat – though disappointingly J’s Happy Meal was missing the drink and the sauce which caused a bit of a hiccup as he started getting really upset about it until Daddy P shared his milkshake. We chose to eat in the car as McDonalds itself was so packed and noisy that even the brief time we were in there was an issue for J – he was spinning, trying to run away to find somewhere to hide, wanting to lie on the floor (not practical in a crowded McDonalds!) and was generally becoming quite a handful, so we took our food and went to sit in the car where it was familiar, and peaceful.

After eating lunch we headed to the theatre, and to be honest this is the bit of the day that was the most stressful. Although everything else up to that point had been busy and noisy, it had at least been well organised and because we had been told what was happening we could guide J and as long as he knows what is going on and what is happening next he copes well even in new situations. This wasn’t well organised and we didn’t know what was happening.

There was a massive line from the doors of the theatre down the road. So naturally we joined the end of it, thinking this is the line to get in. Ten minutes later, a guy selling programmes for the show came down the line and announced, “This is the line for the merchandise, so if you don’t want merchandise and just want to go straight in, you don’t need to be lined up here”. Well thanks for that, man selling programmes, but why wasn’t that clearly marked by some rope and a sign of some sort? So half of us who’d been patiently standing in the wrong queue then went around the line and through the doors into the foyer of the theatre.

In the foyer it was packed. There were people everywhere, it was noisy, it was confusing, and it was hot. We had tickets for Circle seats, and the doorway to a staircase marked “Circle” had a line coming out of it that went back out of the theatre doors, that seemed to include people waiting at the bar to buy drinks. We really didn’t know where we were meant to be going or who to queue up behind, so we kind of stood in amongst this mass of people to wait. Again, no guidance what was going on, who was waiting for what, a lady did come and ask us all whether we had Circle seats as she didn’t want Stall seat people waiting in the wrong place, but everyone did (apart from those who were queuing for the bar) but other than that it was very disorganised. J became agitated, we were in a massive crowd of noisy people and it was hot and sweaty, and he wanted to find somewhere quiet to relax but we had nowhere to go, it seemed ridiculous that they were letting people into the foyer and not letting us into the theatre itself because we just ended up getting more and more packed in and getting hotter and hotter, it was getting noisier and noisier … The inevitable happened, J started spinning and covered his ears and started walking backwards, which meant he was bumping into people, he didn’t want to hold hands with me or Daddy P and instead wanted to run around Daddy P in circles which was impractical because of how crowded it was, but the more we tried to explain the more distressed he became. Daddy P gave him the DanTDM Tour programme to look through to distract him, but he wanted to lie on the floor of the foyer to read it, which was impractical due to the crowd of people walking about.

I was on the verge of marching over to the bar and demanding that they let us into a quiet room for J to calm down as I could see he was teetering on the edge of having a meltdown due to this huge sensory overload, but fortunately at that point they started letting people into the theatre, and the line started shuffling up the stairs. J was still not calm and it was difficult getting him to walk slowly behind the group of people in the queue ahead of us, but we managed well until we got to the bottom of the stairs, when a couple came down the stairs against the rest of the crowd of people. Of course everyone else shuffled to the side to get out of their way but J had his hands over his ears and was staring at his feet so he didn’t realise the woman was coming straight toward him, and when I tried to tap his shoulder to get his attention to get him to move he freaked and stepped sideways, even more in the path of this woman – so she barged past him, a six year old kid with his hands over his ears looking at his feet in amongst this noisy, hot crowd of people, and she just marched by knocking him sideways into me as she did so. Of course Mama Bear raised her head and I growled at this woman about knocking my child out of the way and she could have said excuse me and how rude of her to be so obnoxious to such a small child, but of course she ignored me and instead her husband looked suitably ashamed as he scuttled along behind her.

Fortunately the line was moving quite rapidly by that point, so we continued to go upstairs and as we got closer to the door into the theatre J began to visibly relax. As soon as we were in and found our seats he was staring at the stage excitedly and bouncing in his chair, completely at ease again. It was darker than it had been in the foyer though the lights hadn’t gone down yet for the performance, it was noisy with the chatter of the audience filing in, but it was cool and now we were in the theatre and he could see the stage, J focused on that to help keep him calm.

Once again, the familiar “Hi, everyone!” rang out over the speakers as Dan came on stage and the whole place erupted – but instead of being bothered by the noise, this time J was well and truly part of it and he screamed, clapped, stamped his feet, cheered and booed his way through the show, completely immersed in it all. He was completely and utterly under the spell of DanTDM and all that was going on during the show, and he loved every minute of it.

I took the opportunity during the second half to pop out and visit the ladies room without the queue of hundreds, and while I was out I stopped at the merchandise table, which was also free of the crowd, and picked up a TeamTDM armband and an official TDMTour t shirt (J had seen other kids wearing them and announced they were cool and he liked them – since he hadn’t actually asked for anything from the merchandise stands and had coped so admirably with everything that had been going on, I thought it would be a nice additional treat to compliment the less than wonderful goodie bag)

After the show, we exited the theatre from the circle seats via a side door that lead us straight outside rather than going through the foyer. We got back to the car and took a moment to have a drink before we set off for home. J sat in the back talking about the show until we started off for home – then he was very quiet. It’s normal for him to chat constantly in the car, but if he’s particularly tired he will be absolutely silent, and that was how he was yesterday on the way home (with the exception of telling me as I did 60mph down the Bury Road from Ipswich that he urgently needed a wee … thank goodness I am prepared for events like that, so we pulled over and he used the Coke bottle from the boot!) After that he was quiet again til we got home – he was his usual bouncy self at home, chatting away and playing with a variety of toys for 30 seconds each before they were abandoned in favour of something different – I did his dinner and Daddy P took Baby A up to bed, then I took J up to bed at 8pm. I had been expecting him to still be very hyped following the day, but instead he collapsed in bed without argument and after I read him a couple of chapters of James and the Giant Peach he wanted to listen to his BFG audio book until he fell asleep – which was only a few minutes later.

As much as he enjoyed the experience on the whole, I think if I were to take him to an event like that again I would make sure we don’t leave the stress ball at home (I only had Chloe the cat in my bag and he announced after trying to use her to calm down that she just didn’t help) I would make sure that I had more to entertain him in the long queue, as I was woefully unprepared for the amount of waiting that had to be done, though it would have been hard to do much in the queue perhaps a pad of paper and a pencil so he could do some drawings while we waited would have helped. Also I would have taken his noise reducing headphones with us, except they have mysteriously gone missing so I am going to need to invest in another pair since they were so useful.

The confusion at the theatre I hope they will consider looking into for future performances to prevent children like J becoming overwhelmed, because he was so close to meltdown and if he had gone into one at that point I would have had to take him to a quiet room to calm down or else taken him out of the theatre and back to the car which would have been next to impossible once he was in full blown meltdown. I think it would have been better controlled with clearer signage outside for the merchandise line; not allowing so many people into the foyer until they were at the point of letting people into the theatre so it didn’t get so packed; perhaps an idea could be for them to adopt a similar idea to Manchester airport, which offers a ‘Blue Band’ option when you book your flights, which alert staff to invisible issues such as autism and allows autistic customers and their families to go through the airport without queuing and to be provided with a quieter space for calming down when necessary (Personally though I think most places like the theatre, all airports, train stations, bus stations etc should adopt this idea as it’s not easy getting a child like J out and about for events without meltdowns due to his sensory overload in those situations).

Altogether it was a very enjoyable day and I am very pleased we managed to get tickets and, more importantly, that we were able to upgrade J’s ticket to a Diamond VIP one. It really made the day extra special for him to meet his idol. It was an exhausting day for us all, but it is one that we will all remember for a very long time.